Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Wow, I really DO fail at this blog business. Epicly! It's not like I have a quiet life, I just know better than to share some issues that really don't need shared.

Today, I've been considering spirituality and how *my* faith would relate to someone else. Specifically, I've been comparing to Christianity since it's the one of the big 3 I know best. Hypothetical discussion with Hypothetical Christian.

The first obvious thing is that we both have faith. His faith is in God, Jesus, saints and such. He has a holy book which tel^H^H^H guides his actions. He has no physical proof of anything, but he believes and that's all that's needed.

My faith is in my Patron and Matron, and myself, and in the Universe. I don't need a book to provide guidance and morality, I consult my own Jiminy Cricket and know how to behave. I have no direct physical proof that my way works, but I believe and that's all that's needed.

Then comes the biggie - Prayer. My Christian friend prays... prays for an end to war (sometimes), prays for an end to famine (occasionally)... but generally prays his headache will go away, he'll find a parking space, Wal-mart will have a sale on bacon, that sort of thing. Minor prayers, the kind of if-this-works-yay type thing.

I don't pray... I see no need to send petitions to my Deities, because I walk with them and talk with them when I need them or when they have guidance for me. If I need something, I manifest it. My headache will go away. There will be a parking space. Bacon needs to be cheaper. Generally I don't mess with bacon though, not in that way.

Actually, I've noticed that Christians have very... unfocused prayers. "I pray, O Lord, that my headache will be swiftly cured". Great, until you get accidentally beheaded. "I pray, Heavenly Father, that there are plenty of parking spaces". Wonderful. That power cut will really help businesses! Whilst I'm guilty of some selfish manifestation (make that light change, I wanna go!-type stuff), I'm fairly sure if I had some sort of direct line to an almighty Deity with the power to do anything, I'd be asking for an end to famine, advances in medicine, etc etc. If God is going to answer my prayers, I'd rather it be something freaking AWESOME than my headache going away!

I recognise it's partly the role-player in me, but I think every Witch really quickly learns to be focused when they manifest. The universe isn't unkind, it isn't unfriendly, but something along the lines of "I wish to meet my soulmate!" is almost like an invitation for you to meet the perfect woman, with a wonderful sense of humor... and a great husband and 6 perfect children. Weather magic is always the example I fall back on. Yeah, manifest a sunny day this weekend... but know someone else is paying for it. Yeah, keep that storm just outside the city until it's rained out... but those people outside the city are now flooded and someone else is bitching there's no water for their garden. Balance... balance... balance.

I know there's no point in asking my Patron and Matron for too much too. Whilst I'm likely to get some advice and questioning to make sure it's what I really want rather than what I think I want, I also know the eventual outcome is going to be pretty much "You want it, go out and make it happen. No freeloaders!"

What else... Christians worship God. God did Stuff, God did *everything* stuff. If there was a top 10 of People Who Did Stuff, God would be top and everyone else ever would be tied for second place. God. Did. Stuff. God lives in the clouds, but he's really everywhere and knows everything, especially the Naughty Things You Did. He's all powerful, by the way. He can make planets and grasshoppers and all sorts, even Duke Nukem Forever. He also knows everything and can't do anything wrong, because he's Ineffable.

I... can't believe in a Deity like that. My Deities are believable, because they match how I'd imagine Gods to be. What's more likely - "I am totally ineffable. I can do no wrong, and I can do *anything*, I'm just not going to", or "Hey lads, This dude can't die! AT ALL! Lets throw crap at him all day and night, because it's not going to hurt or anything! BIGGER AXE PLX!"

I believe in Gods because I view them largely as people with more power. People are dicks, Gods are just as likely to be dicks. Look at Zeus. Look at Loki. Look at Odin even. "Yes, you're Odin, you're the All-father... but Heimdall *actually* made people. You got runes, pretty, but you had to hang on a tree to get them. You're wicked smart, but you had to sacrifice an eye for that." No free passes, no cheat codes. Believable!

What else... oh, Afterlife. Your all knowing God knows all you've done, all your sins, all your crimes (even before you've done them. Ineffable + Free will). But it's all good, he's not going to punish you for those until you die, right? Unless he randomly decides to Test you... You know you're being Tested when you're life is crap, that's God Testing you.

Consider that for a minute or two... Dropped out of school? Test. Pregnant at 16? definite Test. house robbed? Test (stop being so material). Pick anything bad, and it's a Test. Which means, really, nothing that happens to you is *really* your fault, is it? Because God is Testing you, you can hardly defeat an omnipotent, omnipresent omnivore, can you? Responsibility is a moot point - God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffable game of His own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players*, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch-dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a Dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. (yes, Good Omens. Doesn't make it less true).

My Gods aren't up in the clouds, watching my every move and compiling the List of Naughty Things, my Gods pull me up on my mistakes and kick my ass. There's no need for any sort of afterlife retribution, I get it now and learn from it. My afterlife consists largely of "So, what did you learn? mmmhm... mmmhm... ok, let's open the Sekrit Sealed Envelope and see if you got it right. You learned Humility... survey says.... HUMILITY! Ding ding ding! You get a new lesson and a gold star!" More to it than that, but that's basically the gist.

There's also no form of Testing. I live, they observe. Sometimes they're proud of me, sometimes they're disappointed, but I always know either way pretty quickly. Sometimes it's a "heeeeey, did you REALLY need to do that?" and I think about it and either agree or justify myself... and sometimes I *can* justify myself and *they'll*agree. Other times I get pulled up on what I think was such a minor thing, and have it patiently explained that yes, whilst I think it was a minor jab, someone else is in tears and hates themselves because of it... and I have to make it right.

It's best explained as... family. My Patron and Matron are like my Father and Mother. They guide me, they help teach me, but generally they let me get on with making mistakes and learning, and only really interject when it's important. The Christian deity seems like a distant uncle or something - write to him a few times a year, call him at Christmas, and hope you got good presents and not a hideous sweater or some book tokens. I can't imagine being so disconnected from someone you put so much faith and trust in, it doesn't seem logical at all.

But then, maybe Christians believe their God walks with them too, the whole Footprints-in-the-Sand thing. Where I see evidences of my Deities in nature, in signs and secrets and little things all around, maybe they do too. Where I see a spider with a message of creativity, do they see a carefully constructed web showing the magnificence of God's Creation? When I see a rainbow and know it's a glimpse of Bifrost, do they know it's a sign that God promised not to flood the earth again?

I guess it's easy to be on the inside looking out, and easy to make broad, sweeping judgements when you're on the outside looking in. I guess from their point of view I'm heathen demon worshipper, convincing myself that I have power which only belongs in God's hands. My 'manifestation' is simple chance, my empathy is just good observation, etc etc. My Shifting is clearly MPD, my reiki works because whoever I'm working on just needed to lay down and rest, and so on and so forth. *shrugs* might be true, there might be a lot of us all completely delusional.... but we have Faith in what we do.

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